Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
