i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
