Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
