I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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