there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
