I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
