YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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