After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
