Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
