): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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