I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
50% drunk capacity currently
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
