At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
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I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
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We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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