I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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