all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize