OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
