my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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