took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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