Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
