How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
