No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
