I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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