I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize