i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
