Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
