fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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