she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
