the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize