I understand Curling. That high.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
