its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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