Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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