rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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