He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
