Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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