my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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