drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
