The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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