I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
