We won't sleep together?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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