He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
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I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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