38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
