Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
