At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i think i just lost a toe
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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