4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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