I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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