So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
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I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
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The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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