I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
