Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
