I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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