He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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