Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Who died my cat blue again?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
