Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
