You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
