Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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