why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I see more hoeing in ur future
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