don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
