dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
