I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
